Vanity Cards/Logos (Part 1)
Compiled By Eric Hartman, Adam P., Nicholas Aczel, Matt Williams, Kris Starring & Others
Arsenio Hall Communications
(1989-1994)
Nickname: "Woof Woof"
Logo: On a black background (with purple stripe), the words "ARSENIO HALL" are in large capital letters, with "COMMUNICATIONS" in a smaller white font on the bottom of the screen. The word "HALL" takes up most of the screen, and it is in dark blue, while "ARSENIO" (in light blue) is much smaller, and it is near the top of the screen. The words "ARSENIO HALL" have an orange line under them.
FX: None, this is a still logo
Music: Two arrangements of the "Arsenio Hall Show" theme music. The first one featuring the outro of the theme. The second one was the first four bars of the jazzy tune (composed by Hall himself), followed by Arsenio Hall shouting heavily "Woof Woof," (dog bark åla the infamous "Dog Pound" section of his studio audience, which cheered to Arsenio's signature expression while swinging their fists in the air). Though the theme music's arrangement changed with the show's opening titles, this ID remained the same throughout the run.
Sound Variant: On the short-lived 1991 music program "The Party Machine with Nia Peebles" the sounder had Nia going "Arf! Arf!" in place of Arsenio.
Availability: Rare. Originally seen on "The Arsenio Hall Show" and "The Party Machine". "Arsenio Jams" (edited versions of "The Arsenio Hall Show" that air occasionally on VH1) keep this logo intact.
Scare Factor: Low; Arsenio's "barking" can catch somebody off-guard, but is generally considered to be a humerous logo.
Bedford Falls Company
(1987-1995)
Logo: On a black background is a black-and-white sketch of a 19th century 2-story house connected on the left to a black filmstrip with a white shadow. It is snowing outside. The text "A BEDFORD FALLS COMPANY" fades in below. A light goes on in the top left window of the house. The text "in association with" fades in at the bottom of the logo.
Background: As you may have guessed, this logo is basically a homage to "It's A Wonderful Life" (1947). Bedford Falls was the name of the town in this movie, and there is a scene where stones are thrown at a house that looks similar to the logo.
FX/Cheesy Factor: The house looks like an undetailed, tacky etching, the snow looks fake, and what is the filmstrip with the shadow supposed to represent?
Music: A man-and-woman singing together: "...and, dance by the light of the moon."
Availability: Seen on episodes of "thirtysomething" whenever anyone decides to show them, followed by the MGM/UA Television Productions logo. "My So-Called Life" was another show featuring this logo.
Scare Factor: Low, the darkness and the "in association with" fading in may scare some.
BRANIFF
(1997-)
Nickname: "Believe It!"
Logo: We see a live action airplane, slowly glazing through the clouds, in sunrise. The plane is seen from the front and the "camera" is zoomed in close. The plane has an orange trim to it. Once the plane is about midpoint from zooming, the Braniff logo slides in from the left, toward the bottom, acting like a person inside a car being subject to an abrupt brake and then accelerating back (you know what I mean). The Braniff logo has abstract lettering with an orange fill to it. The text "Believe It!" appears below.
Background: This logo was actually a commercial for the now-defunct Braniff Airlines. It was seen circa late 70s. The music was pasted on the ID.
Cheesy Factor/FX: The "abrupt stop" effect for letters, the flying plane looks quite fake, grainy film
Music: An uplifting electric piano theme that fits the high "spirit" of the logo. The South Park closing theme plays over often, especially in later seasons.
Availability: Seen on South Park on Comedy Central
Scare Factor: Low, the music and change of film quality may startle some.
CHARLES/BURROWS/CHARLES
Productions
(1982-1993)
The men named in the company are Glen Charles, James Burrows, and Les Charles.
Logo: On a light blue background, the word "CHARLES" slides in from the right at the top of the screen. Then the word "BURROWS" slides in from the left below "CHARLES". Another "CHARLES" appears below "BURROWS" and slides from the right. "PRODUCTIONS" slides in from the left on the bottom. Each word is in capital lettering and in a "typewriter" font. Each word has the same size except for "Productions" which is considerably smaller. The logo appears similar to this when complete:
CHARLES
BURROWS
CHARLES
PRODUCTIONS
FX: Sliding in of the words, simple, yet effective.
Music: Only the end of the Cheers piano chord.
Availability: Still saved on all episodes of Cheers, currently seen in both syndication and Nick At Nite.
Scare Factor: Minimal, the silence and sliding words might cause a shock.
Chuck Lorre Productions
(1997-)
Logo: On a black (or white) background, the company name is in a typewriter font. Below is an essay in a very small font which must be paused on tape to read it. Episodes of "Dharma & Greg" have a different essay on almost every episode.
You can see all the essays at both http://www.chucklorre.com/ and http://dharma.henrysworld.com/
FX: None.
Music: An opera-like high note is sung throughout the logo in the beginning of Dharma's run, but now usually has generic network music over. With the show now canceled and about to enter syndication, it is unknown at this point what music will be used.
Availability: Can be seen on "Dharma & Greg" on ABC (in the USA), and Global (in Canada).
Scare Factor: None, you'll just be mad by how you can't read a word :) Also, if you saw the logo on a black bg combined with the music, like these "In Association With" screens, you won't like that either.
David E. Kelley Productions
(1996-)
Nicknames: "Old Woman," "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up," "You Stinkah!"
Logo: An old woman is watching TV and a burst of wind comes into the room. She yells "You stinkah!" as "David E. Kelley Productions (in association with...)" appears in a typewriter-like font and she falls backward. At the end, her feet are sticking out.
FX: The wind sounds and the TV screen popping.
Music: Usually contains the onomatopoeia mentioned above. However on "The Practice" the sound effects are mixed together with the ABC-TV jingle (starting with the fall '98 season). For "Ally McBeal", the musical backdrop is a snippet of the show's theme, "Searching My Soul," followed by simply a Fox drumroll. The person yelling "You stinkah!" in the logo is David E. Kelley's late grandmother.
Availability: To find it, just watch "The Practice," "Boston Public," or "Ally McBeal."
Scare Factor: Low, although I assume some people may be freaked out by the old woman tumbling from the chair.
Flody Co.
(2002-2003)
Nickname: "The Flody Dogs"
Background: This is Flody Suarez's vanity company.
Logo: On a reddish-brown and black gradient background, we see two crudely-drawn squares, one blue and one gold. In the blue square we see a drawing of a yellow-haired dog. In the gold square we see a black dog with a blue collar. Underneath the squares, we see the words "FLODY CO." written in a stencil font.
FX: None, it's a still logo.
Music: None that we know of. When this logo is shown on "8 Simple Rules" it has the ABC generic music played over it.
Availability: Was seen on "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter" on ABC until 2004, when this logo was replaced by one for "Tracy Gamble Productions," which is a shame because this was a cool looking vanity logo.
Scare Factor: None, it's a cute logo.
Four D Productions
(1975-1982)
Logo: On a yellow productions we see "FOUR PRODUCTIONS, INC." in the claredon condensed font colored black, followed by the appearance of three D logos, from smallest to largest. The D's form in the center inbetween the FOUR and PRODUCTIONS.
Sequencing: The original ABC network run of "Barney Miller" featured this logo by itself. The syndicated run beginning in 1979 featured the short version of the Columbia Pictures Television starburst at the end (Most common), and later said to have featured the Columbia TV 1980's Torch Lady, and now features the 1993-2001 Columbia-Tristar Boxes of Boredom.
FX: The appearance of the D's
Cheesy Factor: Simple animated logo.
Music: A simple piano tune, with chimes ringing in the appearance of the Ds, followed by one more chime to close the logo out. An electronic organ arrangement, with a drumbeat instead of a third chime was used from January-September 1975, with a piano arrangement used from September 1975 to the end of the show's run in September 1982. This logo was composed by Jack Elliott and Allyn Ferguson, who composed the theme for Barney Miller and also composed the Lorimar Television 1972-86 Jingle.
Availability: Seen at the end of Barney Miller, on TV Land, and ONLY seen on Barney Miller. Danny Arnold always created a new production company for every series he created.
Scare Factor: Low
Logo: We are at a movie theater with dimmed lights and a screen in front. The people are animated and we can't see their faces. As the movie patrons are talking, a man says "shhhhh". As everyone sits down, the lights black out and "Gracie Films" is seen on the screen on a blue background.
Variants:
FX/Cheesy Factor: The animation is very undetailed and tacky, yet effective.
Music: After the "shhhhh", a somber, yet jazzy electric piano tune plays, is said to be the chorus to the 80s pop song "The King of Wishful Thinking", by Go West.
Availability: Can be seen on "The Simpsons" and reruns of "The Critic" and "The Tracy Ullman Show"
Scare Factor: Minimal, the darkness might scare a few.
Guntzelman-Sullivan-Marshall
Productions
(1988-1990)
Nicknames: "Guy Falling Off Roof", "GSM", "AAAAHHHHHHHH!"
Logo: We see an old, haunted looking house at night. An insane looking man walking on the roof stumbles and falls two stories into some bushes below. Superimposed on the screen is
A
Guntzelman
Sullivan
Marshall
production
IN ASSOCIATION WITH
The logo then cuts to the current WB Television logo of the time.
FX: It's all live-action.
Music: The sound of the guy falling off the roof yelling "AAAAAAAHHHHH!" as he falls playing over the closing theme of the show.
Availability: Can be seen on "Growing Pains" on ABC Family and reruns of "Just The Ten Of Us" when someone decides to show it.
Scare Factor: High, I know it's supposed to be funny, but the dark image and the scary looking man falling off the roof is going to give more than a few the creeps.
John Charles Walters
(1978-1983)
Nickname: "Good Night, Mr. Walters"
Logo: Text says in yellow (on Taxi) or blue (on The Associates):
A
JOHN CHARLES WALTERS
Production
In the live action background, a man who seems to be finished with work is walking down a hall. He fixes his hair with his hand and as he continues on we see he's wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. A female voice calls after him, "Good night, Mr. Walters!" "Mr. Walters" groans as he puts his hat on. Usually followed with an "In Association With" screen.
Notes/Variants:
FX: None
Cheesy Factor: "Mr. Walters" is going in delayed motion (ala MTM cat).
Music: None, the ending theme played for whatever show it was in the background.
Availability: Can still be found on reruns of "Taxi" and "The Associates."
Scare Factor: Some people might be turned off by grumpy Mr. Walters. Also, if they're not fans of creepy "In Association With" screens, they won't like that either. Other than that, a lot of CL fans seem to like this one.
Mad Cow Productions
(1996-)
Nickname: "The Cow Says"
Logo: In a rectangle of this already-formed logo, we see a drawing of a cow with its head over a fence in a farm. "Mad Cow Productions" is displayed in blue on the left side of the rectangle. The rectangle has a black border. The cow then "says" in an almost robotic human voice. "The cow says", then a moo is heard, followed by a baby laughing. The cow then rolls its eyes in disgust.
FX: The eyes rolling
Music: Just the soundbite, which is based on the classic "See 'n Say" toy made by Mattel.
Availability: Seen on "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central
Scare Factor: Low, the logo might surprise some, but is generally considered funny.
Mohawk Productions
(1995-)
Nicknames: "Kicking Baby In Womb," "Ultrasound Baby," 'Fetus of Doom"
Logo: We see an actual shot of an ultrasound (the blurry x-ray of what of a baby looks like in a pregnant mother) of a fetus, moving around a bit. The text
MOHAWK
PRODUCTIONS INC.
has already appeared, and toward the end of the logo, the fetus giggles.
Update: In 2001, the Mohawk text became more stylelized and became animated. The Mohawk text became a bit more cursive, and is over a box, half black, half white. The text, "Productions Inc., In Asociation With" is below. This whole logo comes in from the right (ala Paramount Blue Mountain). The animation/ultrasound is about the same, except it has a blue tint to it this time, instead of black/white like before.
FX: The actual ultrasound
Music: A drumbeat, followed by a baby's giggle. Due to compressed credits on ABC, there is often an accordion-tinged generic ABC jingle playing over, but the giggle still remains.
Availability: Can be seen on "The Drew Carey Show" and "George Lopez" on ABC & Syndication and "Norm," if that show ever gets reran.
Scare Factor: High, a lot of people are creeped out by the baby's giggle, which can come as a suprise to many.
Mutant Enemy
(1997-)
Nickname: "Grr, Argh"
Logo: In this purposely low-budget logo, we see the words "Mutant Enemy" with vines on them, made on posterboard. Then, a terribly drawn "mutant" passed by and gives an unconvincing "Grr, Argh". The mutant is paper-made and someone's hand is moving it.
FX/Cheesy Factor: The whole logo was made of posterboard, the "grr, argh", cheap drawings, the camcorder recording quality.
Availability: Can be seen on "Buffy, The Vampire Slayer" on UPN and "Angel" on the WB network.
Scare Factor: Median, I know it's supposed to be funny, but it can catch you off-guard.